The Countertop Chronicles

"Run by a gun zealot who's too blinded by the NRA" - Sam Penney of

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Rockstar: Supernova

Just some thoughtful advice on the new generation of Rockstar: Supernova contestants.

1) Get down, get dirty. You look WAY too clean and commercial to pull off a heavy metal show. Ingest some substances. Your singing to Tommy Lee for chrisakes. And a guy from Guns n Roses. Not to mention the bass player from Alcoholica.

2) Scream, don't sing. Its not American Idol. Your not trying to be the next boy band pop star. You want to be a Metal God. And what does the metal god do??? He elicits ear piercing, angry, death defying screaming lyrics. My wife's reaction to Jenny Galt's performance last night? Where is the angry growl??

3) Stop the gotdam grunge. Seriously, with the exception of Newsted, the other guys you are auditioning to all lost their jobs because Nirvana and STP came on the scene (and Gilby's gotten screwed twice - first with STP and know watching Slash sell millions with Scott Weiland as his singer). Do something else. Do something to impress them. Do something with real passion.

Kuda's to Dana Andrews for "going underground" with the High Road Easy. Didn't care for the song itself, but it had passion, it had screams, and it wasn't another fucking song out of Seattle. How many times do we have t listen to these guys. Want a song to sing? Want to stand out and win?

When they ask for blood, give it to them! Channel some Bon "Fucking" Scott!!

Whole Lotta Rosie
Music by Angus and Malcolm Young
Lyrics by Bon Fucking Scott

I wanna tell you a story
'bout a woman I know
When it comes to lovin'
Oh, she steals the show
She ain't exactly pretty
Ain't exaclty small
You can say she's got it all

Never had a woman
Never had a woman like you
Doin' all the things
Doin' all the things you do
Ain't no fairy story
Ain't no skin and bone
But you give it all you got
Weighin' in at nineteen stone

You're a whole lot of woman
A whole lot of woman
Whole lotta Rosie
You're a whole lotta woman

Oh honey you can do it
Do it to me all night long
Only one that turns
Only one that turns me on
All through the night-time
Right around the clock
To my surprise
Rosie never stops

You're a whole lot of woman
A whole lot of woman
Whole lotta Rosie
You're a whole lotta woman

The Anarchangel, as always, has been all over Rockstar. Check him out for better coverage - and my further thoughts - in his comments.


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