The Countertop Chronicles

"Run by a gun zealot who's too blinded by the NRA" - Sam Penney of

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Jessica Simpson's A Lesbian

If you can make it past the new, ultra sucky, Foxnews page, you'll find this intriguing story on trouble in the happy little perfect television world of Jessica Simpson and Nick something or other.
"In one episode, he goes into the bathroom and finds a picture next to Jessica's tub," says the show's producer, Rod Aissa.

"You'd figure it's a picture of him and Jessica, but he picks it up, and it's actually Jessica and CaCee."

Yes, thats right. Turns out that Jessica isn't just a hot little ultra dumb blonde. She is also a dyke!!!!
If she couldn't get on the Howard Stern Show before, this is certain to secure her a plug.

But wait, it gets better.

The dumb blonde exploits grow even zanier than Jessica famously asking if Chicken of the Sea Tuna was Chicken.
The third season of the "Newlyweds" will be full of more sure-to-be-famous Jessica non sequiturs -- including, in the first episode, her asking if male ballet dancers are called "ballerinos."

Just great. Oh I can't wait. . . . . .to get rid of my TV!


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