The Countertop Chronicles

"Run by a gun zealot who's too blinded by the NRA" - Sam Penney of

Monday, October 04, 2004

Virgins no more

Leave it to Richard Branson. In news thats sure to please everyone from 13 year old boys up to old cronies like Hugh Hefner the international marketing genius just ensured passengers on his Virgin Airlines will always have the option of changing classes and losing that stigma.
"We are delighted that Virgin Atlantic is the first airline to offer this unique service. It has been one of my long held ambitions to have double beds onboard our aircraft and now, once again, we are leading the way in product innovation onboard our aircraft.

The award winning Upper Class Suite provides the passenger with by far the longest and most comfortable bed flying in the air today and now passengers can enjoy even 'suiter' dreams next to their loved ones!

In other news, this development is certain to reduce the number of needless security delays currently being experienced by travelers worldwide.
Hundreds of airline passengers suffered disruption to their travel plans when a major regional airport was shut down for an hour after a humming and vibrating adult sex toy was mistaken for a bomb.

The vibrator was discovered at 9:15 am (2315 GMT Sunday) by a security officer who checked out a suspicious package inside a rubbish bin at the terminal cafeteria of Mackay Airport in the northeastern state of Queensland, a police spokeswoman said.

The terminal was evacuated immediately while passengers who had just arrived from a flight, check-in staff, cafeteria employees and hire car personnel were all forced to leave.

Cafeteria manager Lynne Bryant said her staff had been cleaning tables when they noticed a strange humming noise coming from the rubbish bin.

"It was rather disconcerting when the rubbish bin started humming furiously," she said.

Bryant said at the time of the upheaval the airport had been quite busy with two main flights due in and out of the airport - wreaking havoc with people's schedules.

She said in retrospect the humming sounded exactly like a vibrator - but it was better to be safe then sorry.

"You can't afford to take chances," she added.
No, I guess you can't.


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