The Countertop Chronicles

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Kelly Clarkson



well, maybe not. But at least she's a good sport (and a bit of a drunken ho).


Of course, for all the cool Metal happenings, we must - as always, turn to Metal Sludge for the juicy stuff.

Hey ya'll -

So tonight at Metal Skool at the Key Club, Kelly Clarkson was in the audience (VIP section), and the band pointed her out, brought her up on stage, and had her sing "Sweet Child o' Mine" (after asking her to show her tits, blow the singer, etc...) It took security a while to get her onstage, and Michael Starr cracked, "Yeah, you guys KNOW we have an important person here tonight when the security guys are like, 'Careful! Make sure she doesn't get hurt!' when they're helping her onstage. They're NEVER like that."

I gotta say, Kelly was hilarious and a really good sport. Not to mention a little shitfaced. Not TOO much, but enough to be having a good time. She was funny and definitely enjoying being the butt of the band's numerous T and A jokes...they asked her to show her tits and she was saying, "I don't have any!" She said, "I have an ass!" and turned around to the crowd to show it (not nude or anything LOL) Then she licked a finger on each hand and rubbed her nipples over her shirt. She also drank some tequila (I think?) straight from the bottle and played copious amounts of air guitar with Satchel.

When she first got up they were having her repeat the parts from "Photograph" when Michael does the "crowd participation" stuff...It was very funny to hear her sing in a beautiful, but high pitched and screechy voice, "PHOTO PHOTO GRA-APH!" Michael pointed out that she was off key. LOL

She was with some blond dude...the MS guys were saying he was in Yellowcard (the singer, I presume?) but I don't know. I'd have to look him up. (Yes, I just did. The blond singer from Yellowcard) So they both sang Sweet Child, and then he stayed onstage and sang a Green Day song.

Then later they got her up onstage again (she was having trouble making it to the stage so the audience helped her crowdsurf up, which was cool) and she sang Don't Stop Believin' by Journey...but she kept saying, "I don't know this one!" so she did her best with the lyrics.

Towards the end of Don't Stop Believin, I noticed a guy lingering by the side of the stage with long curly dark hair and a cowboy hat. He went up the steps and kinda went onstage a little, but then backed off. I thought it was Vinnie Paul from Pantera/Damageplan but I wasn't positive until I asked a guy who was right by the side.

Anyway, I'm not clear on whether the band thought it was too much going on onstage right then to bring up Vinnie, or what, but when Vinnie backed off, the kinda sorta "manager"-esque (?) guy for Metal Skool (very handsome older guy with gray hair) motioned for Vinnie to come back onstage, but Vinnie shook his head no, headed back down the stairs, and went backstage.

I'm not sure if he didn't want to follow Kelly, or felt like he was snubbed, or just decided, fuck it, I don't feel like being in the spotlight. He never did come back out that I saw. Apparently he was with Robbie from the Goo Goo Dolls.

Funny aside to the Kelly Clarkson story - earlier in the night, before Metal Skool came on, the camera man was doing his thing, trying to film girls showing their tits, etc. He focused in on this one girl, and I nudged my friend and I'm like, "Nice outfit! Who wears a sweater vest to a Metal Skool show?" This girl was wearing a white button up blouse (similar to what I wore as part of my Catholic school uniform) and a sweater vest over it. The epitome of un-sexy. Most girls (including me) are wearing little tank tops, halter tops, etc, cuz you want to look sexy, plus it gets really fucking hot in there.

Anyway, when the camera would go on this girl she'd make a face and throw metal horns and stick out her tongue. I just assumed that the camera guy kept going back to her cuz sometimes she was shy and didn't want to be on camera, and the camera guys tend to bother those girls.

But later on, we all realized, it was KELLY CLARKSON in the sweater vest. I really don't think anybody recognized her at the time except the camera guy, judging from the fact that the crowd didn't go crazy and cheering when the camera would go on her. She was so nondescript. Totally normal looking girl. She was just wearing that and cargo pants and Converse. Later on when they brought her onstage and tried to get her to show her tits, she laughed and took off the sweater vest and threw it into the crowd.

She was a good sport. I'd go out and buy a CD of hers just because of that. LOL I like a lot of her songs, but really only would have downloaded them for free up till now.

Fuck yeah!!!

Kelly Clarkson, she gets it and is WAAAAYYY more metal than anyone on Rock Star: Supernova


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