The Countertop Chronicles

"Run by a gun zealot who's too blinded by the NRA" - Sam Penney of

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Joan DuBois, The Buggering Bitch

To say I have greeted the latest tax reaming with disbelief isn't really accurate. Lord Fairfax and his Disciples of Pain have plunged their dildos of tax love into me before, and I fully expect further reamings to come in the future. But this time, their version of forbidden carnal delight sunk to new, more depraved, depths as her Supremacy the she bitch Joan DuBois worked that dildo with a skill and accuracy heretofore unknown.

Consider this.

My 2005 assessment was at $424,640. The 2006 assessment which arrived yesterday was $582,530, a $157,890 or 37% increase. Is my house worth it? Should I even bother appealing?

Well, even if I wanted to, I have until March 31, 2006 - less than 30 days - to prepare my appeal (a wholly insufficient amount of time, not to mention that I also have a small bit of work for the IRS to finish up shortly after the 31st).

"We've had a couple thousand calls," said Loudoun County Assessor Todd Kaufman. Most callers don't dispute that their new assessment represents market value, as required by Virginia law, he said. They're just shocked that the value has gone up so much.

"For the most part, people aren't upset about their assessments once we explain it to them, show them comparable sales and so on," he said.

There are exceptions. Laurie F. Neff, 34, owns a home in the Sumner Lake neighborhood of Manassas. Her 3,500 square-foot home's value rose from $535,500 to $749,600 -- a 40 percent increase. Neff said she believes that the assessment is wrong because her house has been on the market for two months -- for $689,000. All Neff said she could think when she read her notice was: "Are they on crack?"

Are they on crack, indeed.

When I purchased my modest town house in one of the cheaper sections of McLean, VA (as if there were any) in 1999, it cost me $240,000. I put a significant chunk - $40,000 - down at the time and structured my life to enable my family to realize the dream of home ownership. We were thrilled when we saw the value of homes in our neighborhood approach $300,000 within a year, but declined (like our many neighbors) to cash out the equity and buy cars or new kitchens. Of course, by doing so, they simply raised the value of the entire neighborhood and it wasn't too long before $300,000 became $350,000 and then $400,000 and then $450,000. Then the boom really hit. About 2 years ago, homes started flying off the market, before we knew it they were selling for $500,000. We had a neighbor sell theirs last march for $558,000 and were convinced we had seen the peak. Within a couple of weeks prices were topping $600,000 and then quickly hit $650,000 by the end of the summer.

That of course is what the assessment is based upon, though since that time only 1 home has sold (and that went for less than $580,000 after sitting on the market for 3 months) and another 3 or 4 homes were pulled off the market after a few weeks.

So, who is to blame.

Thats an easy one.

At a basic level, its the fault of a run away Board of Supervisors who haven't met a campaign promise they weren't happy to spend money on. Of course, in my immediate area I blame Dom Boss Joan "Fuck The Little People" DuBois, the tax and spend so called Republican

Ultimately though, I can't criticize Mistress DuBois too much, since she did campaign on the promise not of cutting spending but of finding new sources of tax revenue and challenged the notion that people in the area where really see their tax bills rise.

No, the real fault lays in the submissive fools that populate this area and are only too willing to take a shafting, for their own good. What is it that P.T. Barnum used to say about fools and their money?

"It makes you gulp a little bit," said Victor Nakas of Falls Church, whose bill could top $4,500. But "if you want good government, you have to pay for it

Good grief. Get me the hell out of here.


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