The Countertop Chronicles

"Run by a gun zealot who's too blinded by the NRA" - Sam Penney of

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Come on in here boy, have a cigar

Its World No Tobacco Day!!!!

I think I'll have a stogie when I get home.

Have A Cigar
Music and Lyrics By Roger Waters

Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar.
You're gonna go far, fly high,
You're never gonna die,
You're gonna make it if you try;
They're gonna love you.
Well I've always had a deep respect,
And I mean that most sincerely.
The band is just fantastic,
that is really what I think.
Oh by the way, which one's Pink?
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy,
We call it Riding the Gravy Train.

We're just knocked out.
We heard about the sell out.
You gotta get an album out.
You owe it to the people.
We're so happy we can hardly count.
Everybody else is just green,
Have you seen the chart?
It's a helluva start,
It could be made into a monster
If we all pull together as a team.
And did we tell you the name of the game, boy,
We call it Riding the Gravy Train.

Rosario Dawson

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned the birthday party bash Guns N Roses put on for Rosario Dawson.

Some readers wondered who she was . . . . well she's super hot..

'nuff said.

Daddy, I'm Bored . . . .

Perhaps thats the solution to the non problem of children being naturally curious about guns.

My four year old knows where my guns are and he knows where my ammo is (though he can't really access either, except for some older guns ammo for which I do not have). I take him to gun shows. He knows I use my guns to hunt and he knows I would use my guns to save mommy and him from bad people or bad animals.

He is not curious about them in the least, in fact, he is bored by them. Unlike his toy guns, he knows he's not allowed to play with Daddy's. Even worse, he knows that when Daddy takes his guns out, it usually means Daddy is going to be sitting at the workbench for two hours cleaning them.

And let me tell you, nothing says "I want nothing to do with THOSE things" more than normalizing them in his existence, removing their allure, and turning them into a chore along the lines of cleaning his room or washing the dishes.

Of course, that pusillanimous sycophant Mathew Miller apparantly doesn't even consider that parents might want to educate their children about the responsibilities of owning a firearm, assuming instead that they are simply just evil items to be feared and ignored and lectured against.

A new study involving 201 parents and an equal number of their children has found that 39 percent of kids knew the location of their parents' firearms, while 22 percent said they had handled the weapons, despite their parents' assertions to the contrary. Parents who had talked to their children about gun safety were just as likely to be misinformed about their children's actions as those who said they never had discussed the matter.

Wait just a second . . . .

Guns on the National Mall????

Norton, a race walker who strides across the Mall when the sun goes down, was angry that the U.S. Park Police did not double up patrols on the Mall after what happened Thursday. Twice that night, bandits brandishing a semiautomatic handgun robbed a man and a woman, assaulted the woman and fled. A similar attack happened early Sunday.

How did that happen?? I thought they were illegal in DC????

Harold's Hurdle

"Anyone who thinks the South in 2006 is the same as the South in 2004 is mistaken," said Senator Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York and chairman of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee.

And that, is the biggest hurdle Harold Ford, Jr is going to have to overcome if he expects to win Tennessee.

Who in their right mind ever thought allowing Chuck "The Bigoted Gun Banner" Schumer to weigh in as an authority on southern voters was a good idea?

Monday, May 29, 2006

Faster Than The World

Something that you could take the family to Taco Bell in and the second they got out to go eat their bean burritos, you drop the clutch and take some hills with a cigarette hanging out your mouth acting like you were the bad guy in "Bullit," cranking the stereo, thinking this car was made for a stud like you when really you were racing to the porn store to get that cock ring..Cause Karl Malden is dead. And so is Steve McQueen. Someone has to take their place. And it is gonna be god damn you.

Hot Damn!

Punk Rock and Fast Cars, is there anything better?

Memorial Day Monday Song Lyric

We rented the 30th Anniversary DVD of Schoolhouse Rock this weekend.

Excellent, and each short was as good or better than I remembered from my childhood. My son, all of 4 now, probably knows more about what he needs to know to go through life than most high schoolers.

Plus, even though it was produced by hippy advertisers in the 70s - and inspired by the ability of one of their children to remember Rolling Stone and Grateful Dead lyrics but not multiplication tables, its worth pointing out these shorts were serious and stuck to the facts - not the usual one sided rewriting of history and literature and facts and science that we usually get from ABC.

In that spirit, and in the honor of all who have served this country, here is one of the best songs from a series of great songs.

Shot Heard 'Round the World
Music & Lyrics by Bob Dorough

"The British are coming! The British are coming!"

Now, the ride of Paul Revere
Set the nation on its ear,
And the shot at Lexington heard 'round the world,
When the British fired in the early dawn
The War of Independence had begun,
The die was cast, the rebel flag unfurled.

And on to Concord marched the foe
To seize the arsenal there you know,
Waking folks searching all around
Till our militia stopped them in their tracks,
At the old North Bridge we turned them back
And chased those Redcoats back to Boston town.

And the shot heard 'round the world
Was the start of the Revolution.
The Minute Men were ready, on the move.
Take your powder, and take your gun.
Report to General Washington.
Hurry men, there's not an hour to lose!

Now, at famous Bunker Hill,
Even though we lost, it was quite a thrill,
The rebel Colonel Prescott proved he was wise;
Outnumbered and low on ammunition
As the British stormed his position
He said, "Hold your fire till you see the whites of their eyes!"

Though the next few years were rough,
General Washington's men proved they were tough,
Those hungry, ragged boys would not be beat.
One night they crossed the Delaware,
Surprised the Hessians in their lair,
And at Valley Forge they just bundled up their feet!

And the shot heard 'round the world
Was the start of the Revolution.
The Minute Men were ready, on the move.
Take your blanket, and take your son.
Report to General Washington.
We've got our rights and now it's time to prove.

Well, they showed such determination
That they won the admiration
Of countries across the sea like France and Spain,
Who loaned the colonies ships and guns
And put the British on the run
And the Continental Army on its feet again.

And though they lost some battles too,
The Americans swore they'd see it through,
Their raiding parties kept up, hit and run.
At Yorktown the British could not retreat,
Bottled up by Washington and the French Fleet,
Cornwallis surrendered and finally we had won!

The winner!


From the shot heard 'round the world
To the end of the Revolution
The continental rabble took the day
And the father of our country
Beat the British there at Yorktown
And brought freedom to you and me and the U.S.A.!

God bless America, Let Freedom Ring!

Prosecute The Bloomingidiot


William G. McMahon, special agent in charge of the ATF's New York field division, announced Friday that the agency would review the intelligence gathered by the city and target any federally licensed firearms dealers who broke the law.

In a twist, ATF's inquiry will also include a review of whether the city acted legally in setting up the sting.

Several gun-rights advocates have questioned whether the city itself broke firearms rules or committed fraud by attempting to simulate straw sales in other state

Double Heh!!

Among the issues being explored: Did the investigators provide accurate information on ATF forms at the time of purchase and did they comply with laws requiring them to be residents of the states where they acquired the weapons?

Virginia is for Gun Lovers

This is from The Connection, our local community paper.

To the Editor:

Re: Remove 'Gun Lobby' From Office.

If Ms. Fischer would prefer to live in a fantasy land with no guns, perhaps she should consider a move across the river to Washington, D.C., where they've had a nearly complete ban in place since 1977. Instead of worrying about the elected officials who are standing up for our freedoms, she can always vote herself "off the island."

Philip Levy
Oriole Avenue

Those Crazy French Drivers


On an August morning in 1978, French filmmaker Claude Lelouch mounted a gyro-stabilized camera to the bumper of a Ferrari 275 GTB . . . .

h/t The Texican Tattler

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Gone Fishin'

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

For Bitter

Heh, a blast from the past.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

What's Going on

if you know, you know.

If you don't, I ain't posting it here . . . though feel free to email me if your so inclined.

I'll return, it might just be a few more weeks, but in the meantime these are my sentiments exactly.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

And to think . . . .

mines actually slightly larger

Virginia Is For Lovers

Gun lovers, that is.

and, btw, I've done the entire length, round trip, on my bike from my house. Its about 95 miles (cause you have to double track a bit to get it all in - plus you need to get there and back - thats another 6)

Well worth the effort, perhaps Steve'll invite me the next time.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Guns And Fucking Roses

Holy Fucking Shit!!!!!

First they pull out 4 shows at the Hammersmith in New York City.

Then they do this all acoustic birthday party show for Rosario Dawson

are those the sounds of democracy in China I hear???????

Don't Ever Blame The Guns

when New York City mayor Michael Bloomingfuckingidiotberg can't even ensure the goblins in his own state get the appropriate punishment.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Screw Baltimore

Just another reason to support the Nats!!!

The Barbershop

Glenn's been all over the story, but both miss one all important aspect.


Or more precisely, Playboy

Which my barbershop has (along with Hustler and Penthouse and SI and Outside and The Sporting News) for his patrons to peruse.

The conversations good too (and my wife likes the haircut). Of course, I never stopped going to the barbershop.

Interestingly, and in a sign that other's lead the pack, its owrth pointing out that WAAAAYYYY back in early May, Xavier and Chris were talking barbers.

I go to one too (my 5th in 34 years), though I don't believe he has a spinning pole out front.

First baber was Mike's Baber Shop in Rockaway New Jersey. I was a kid and would go and get my hair cut by Rocky, an old Italian fellow. Loved it there, it was a small shop with a spinning barber pole. They ended up moving to a strip mall closer to Dover and we still went. Eventually, Rocky and the older guys all retired and Mike moved to the Rockaway Townsquare Mall. Turned it into a "Beauty Salon" and hired a bunch of big haired Jersey women and sterotypicalgay guys (not that there is anything wrong with that) to work there. I wouldn't send my kid there now, but my father still goes and I saw Mike a few years ago when I went with my Dad. He remembered me and introduced me to everyone in the place as one of his first ever customers. Good guy.

Eventually, we moved and I began to go to Carlos's Barber Shop in Boonton, NJ. More old Italian guys, spinning wheel. Lots of talk at this time about the Yankees, Giants, and local high school sports. When I started going to Carlos I started to get what he called that "Ivy Cut". Its basically the same cut I've been getting since - short (almost military crew cut length (a #1 or 2 on the buzz clips) along the sides and back and a bit longer on the top (done with scissors: long enough to brush, but thats about it). I liked Carlos's a lot and still stop by on occaision when visiting the family. He basically cut my hair throughout college.

In law school, there was an old guy with a single 10 x 15 room around the corner of the main store building in South Royalton, VT. He was from Fairlee (do you know him Jeff?). He was very much what Xavier has described - the spinning pole, the blue leather barber chair, a gun and old old deer head and some Korean war memorabilia on the wall. Cut my hair for three years. Don't know his name - never did get that but he was a fascinating guy to talk with.

At one point during law school, I worked for the Justice Department and there was a barber shop on H Street between 14 and 15th that i started going to - Anton's. He had the spinning pole and the guys. Sports and girls. I would go get my hair cut by Louie, a good guy and we would always talk about guns. Went there for 5 years or so when Anton decided to sell the place. Didn't sell it to Louie though, some woman took over and the first thing she did was get rid of the playboys. Then, she introduced an electronic cash register and started running the place like a Salon. I left, and it was only a matter of time before Louie and the others left.

Still, it left me barberless and I began to visit a family friend at Andre Chreky. Classic gay guy hair stylist. He'd charge me $25 because we are friends, but I felt bad. His normal rate for a guys cut was like $60 or something. Ouch!!!!

Then, one day, while walking to lunch at Loeb's I noticed Wall's Barbershop. its been around for 60 years or so, and is the classic african american babershop. The guy was out front sweeping the sidewalk and talked me into a hair cut. That was 2 years ago and I haven't looked back since (and don't have any doubt that they'll keep the playboys well stocked).

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Chicks With Guns

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

*I make no representations about what you will find on her web page.

Monday, May 15, 2006


Groovy Chill Image

and that ends my experiment in trying to play with embeded videos.
Apparantly there is no way to do it (at least on blogger) without f'ing up other folks browsers.

Sunday Song Lyric

Juan Non Volokh has returned, as Jonathan Adler (duh!) and with it comes the rebirth of the has returnedSunday Song Lyric.

Not The Who's Who Are You, as I would have guessed, but still a great song anyway.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Idiot With A Gun


At 17

Check it out, at Gunners (and if you have $7500 of 'em, he'll probably take your quarters).

Saturday, May 13, 2006

For All You Star Wars Geeks

May The Force Be With You

On Porn and Green Cards


Thursday, May 11, 2006


Things continue to be quiet over here, but you might find me doing some bitchin' over here.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Fuck Tom Davis

The dumb asshole (both an alcoholic right from the Kennedy mold and my former Congressman) is trying to undercut the constitution and give the cretins in DC an actual vote in Congress.

Still Busy

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

In the meantime, while I missed Uncle's Shoot Out at the Coal Creek, I have visited in the past.

Check out these two videos I made back, about, 2 Christmases ago of me and Tam's MP5

Video 1

Video 2

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Those Crazy Kids

Who knew?

They are actually honoring their virginity pledges.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Just Call Me Hottie Hottie Boom a lottie


though right now my ego is pretty small.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Marching Towards Democracy

Axl Rose spent two hours with the Eddie Trunk radio show talking about the band, the album, reharsals, the tour, and his preference for Old Judas Priest and the original Paul Di'Anno led punk rock Iron Maiden.

Highlight though, is the discussion of Axl's original vision for the Sweet Child of Mine video.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Was it just poker . . . .

or did he actually mean Poke Her??

CIA Director Porter Goss abruptly resigned yesterday amid allegations that he and a top aide may have attended Watergate poker parties where bribes and prostitutes were provided to a corrupt congressman.

Kyle (Dusty) Foggo, the No. 3 official at the CIA, could soon be indicted in a widening FBI investigation of the parties thrown by defense contractor Brent Wilkes, named as an unindicted co-conspirator in the bribery conviction of former Rep. Randall (Duke) Cunningham, law enforcement sources said.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Its Not The Death Penalty, Or The Booty Bandit but

perhaps the jury really did reach a good decision

Bernard V. Kleinman, a New York lawyer who represents Yousef, said he is the only person allowed to visit his client. He said Yousef often spends days at a time without leaving his cell, declining an hour of solitary exercise time because of body-cavity searches performed before and after each session.

'Anybody who thinks the death penalty was more punishment than this doesn't know what it's like to live completely alone for the rest of your life,' Kleinman said. 'If they really wanted to punish him, the death penalty might have made sense politically, but spending the rest of his life in the [Admax] is about the worst you could do to him.'

Thursday, May 04, 2006


What the hell is a multi millionaire baseball player - the star of the Washington Nationals, doing sending his girlfriend to a shady check cashing business to cash his paycheck??????

The girlfriend of Washington Nationals outfielder Jose Guillen was robbed of $12,000 shortly after cashing the player's paycheck at a small business in Northeast Washington Wednesday evening, D.C. police said today.

Police did not disclose the woman's name but said she entered the check-cashing business, Money Mart, in the 1100 block of H Street NE shortly after 5:30 p.m.

She then went to a special back room where she frequently cashes the outfielder's checks, police said

Hasn't he ever heard of direct deposit??

Birthday Gift

If anyone's interested, this is what I want for my birthday this October.

Scream, While You Die In Silence

May Moussaoui's first night be spent in the loving embrace of Wayne Robertson before his introduction to the Aryan boys over in general population the next morning when he goes to meet his maker.

Zee Blog

OK folks,

I had tried to embed a clip from the Jesse James movie on the blog. Apparently, it didn't work and in the process of deleting it I lost my short post the other day.

So, here's the update.

Blogging will be light till at least the 16th. I've got a major meeting at work on that day and have a lot of stuff to do to prepare for it. Since they pay me well, and I don't earn but $20 off this thing, they win.

Don't expect lots of posting here till at least then. In the meantime though, read about kids and the consequences of taking a leak on an electric fence

New Kid On The Block

Stephen's a shooting and gunning buddy of mine down in JawJa.

He's just started a blog, you ought to check it out.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


Of course, if we seized the Saudi and Iranian oil fields and ran the pumps full speed, oil prices would plummet, dictators would be broke, and poor nations would benefit from cheap energy. But we'd be called imperialist oppressors, then.

Me: Sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Illegal Immigration

One side is sending waves of its tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to work hard for the taste of freedom and economic prosperity.

The other side, in return, is now likely to send its hippies, acid heads, crack addicts, speed freaks and Kate Moss.

Seems like a good deal to me.